


Remnants

by ferrousdraconis



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mostly Angst For Now, Sad tree bois kiss, Trans Male Character, Trans Terra (Kingdom Hearts)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-03-05 20:21:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18836065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ferrousdraconis/pseuds/ferrousdraconis
Summary: There's little left for them when the dust settles.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if anyone will read this, but part of me thinks it wasn't meant to be read. I don't know if or when this will update, I just followed my heart in posting this. I know there is literally no content for this ship, but sometimes it's better to break new ground than tread old paths. Thank you for indulging my little fantasy, and I hope you enjoy.

Your first 'encounter' is soon after the battle with the man who is just Xehanort now, no longer Master of anything. He finds you in the corridors long after midnight, whether by chance or design you'll never know. He tells you 'I see how you look at me', and you sputter out any number of excuses before he places a slim finger to your lips. 'Be quiet' he says, and you manage to nod before that finger is replaced with warm lips on your own. The night progresses, as it is wont to do, and you end up in your room.

 

His hands are on your hips now, leg between your thighs, and though he does not find what he expects there is no issue made of it. He pushes into you slow like the blushing virgin you are, mumbled between kisses and moans. There are few words exchanged throughout, but you can feel the hesitant sprout of a _something_ between your interlocked bodies. When you are done you lay together for the first time, arms wrapped around his waist and face buried in fiery red hair.

 

When the dawn comes, he is gone.

 

It becomes routine, this dance of lust. He'll find you, or you will try to make yourself known, and the pair of you will leave. It's always in your room, which is curious for he does not seem too secretive of a man, but you give him his space. (Part of you knows, _knows_ that this is where he goes when he leaves you, where he hides his shame. Shame at what you don't want to think.)

 

So it goes, until it doesn't. Until one night you hold him more tightly than ever, wake when he wriggles from your grasp. Until you grip a wrist that only now feels so, so fragile and ask him ' _please, please don't go_ '.

 

He looks at you with a face so utterly _haunted_ that you nearly let him go. But you stay strong, coax him back into your arms. The first tears come minutes later, soaking into your skin. Then he starts crying in earnest, evolving into wracked sobs that shake his frame. You rub his back, let him scream out his demons into the still night air. You hold him, loose enough for escape but tight enough to comfort, until he falls silent again.

 

When he speaks now his voice is raspy, almost silent. He tells you about two foolish boys becoming two violent men. An organization you can feel the edges of in your memory. He tells of a boy and a girl he would and did give his life for, as many times as it would take, until they were forever torn apart.

 

He says 'I'm sorry', and the words make you suck in a breath. You'd always known that there was a reason he had come to you, a reason he left. To hear it from his lips almost tore you apart. He had used you, well intentioned or not, and it was killing you both now.

 

You let the air escape your lungs again, and speak. Speak like a secret, like a taboo only between the two of you freshly broken. A sheltered life, a call, mistake after mistake until time becomes a blur and you are drowning, you are splitting, you are gone. You say to him 'you saved me' and mean every word.

 

After that, after everything, going back to the Land of Departure had been torture. You were too fragmented, too different from the loved ones who seem like strangers now. You tell him how one day you left without warning, without recourse. You left them a note, some flimsy excuse about training, and fled with nothing but the wayfinder stolen from your Master's grave.

 

You say that the night, the first night, was the darkest point you'd been in for a long time. The warmth of human comfort was taken almost selfishly to escape the cold abyss of your mind. The routine too had become a blessing, a way to cope with the long days and nights.

 

You hadn't been the only one being used.

 

He looks up at you, eyes red rimmed. Leans in halfway like a question, which you don't hesitate to answer.

 

The next morning, you awake with him still in your arms for the first time, and weep silently until he brings you back to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one asked for this but darn it I will row this boat by myself if I have to.

They find you, Ven and Aqua, because of course they do. No matter where you run your hearts are irrevocably linked. Ven runs up for a hug and you spin him around like nothing has changed. Aqua is more reserved with her affections but can be coaxed into the embrace nonetheless. They are curious about your stay at the Mysterious Tower of course, but their questions are diverted when Axel enters the room still sporting marks from your activities.

Considering the few in residence, it takes Aqua little time to find their origins. She says nothing, but the smile she gives you is fond. You count your lucky stars that you'd chosen to wear a turtleneck that day. Even Ven would be able to connect those dots. Or, from the sudden gasp he gives, he has managed to nonetheless. 

You always appreciated his exuberance, even after everything. The glint in his eye when he loudly congratulates you on your 'boyfriend' makes you grin just a little, especially as Axel comes forward with theatrical denial. Still, he takes your hand in his. You lace your fingers together and, for the first time in years, something feels right. 

Later when you lie with him, he kisses over the calluses on your palm. 

“Looks like we’ve been found out.” he drawls, and you can’t stop yourself from crushing your bodies together. There had always been something hanging between you since that night, and hearing it answered sent a spasm of joy through your entire being. You hold him tight enough that his laugh is breathless, kiss him until you are too. Boyfriend. He’s your boyfriend. He’s yours and you’re his and you are each other’s. 

For now, that is enough.

The next week is spent testing the waters of both new and old relationships. Carrying books for Aqua, training with Ven, kissing and holding hands and doing all manner of the sappiest things you can imagine with Axel. In public. Because he's your boyfriend. You have a boyfriend now. The thought alone makes you giddy. 

Your happiness is tempered by the small things, the things that remind you that none of you are healed. Aqua keeps her room as bright as day and her keyblade by her side. Ven wanders the halls at night, afraid to sleep. You yourself let large stretches of time slip through your fingers. 

And Axel. Axel had the days when he could laugh and smile and be himself, but sometimes. Sometimes he wouldn't let you touch him. Sometimes you woke to the sounds of soft tears. Some days he'd shut himself in his room and grieve alone for what he'd lost. There was little you could do then but wait. 

One night that was much like any other found you coming back to yourself at the sound of voices at the door. Axel and Ven, speaking in hushed tones before you hear the door shut and you’re plunged into darkness. Moments later a body slots itself next to yours, but it is too small, too light. 

"Ven?" you say, and he nods into your side. "What are you doing here?"

"Squirt needed some tlc," Axel murmurs, "and Aqua wasn't awake."

"I didn't want to bother you…" Ven mutters. You simply shake your head and pull him closer. Axel lingers hesitantly at the edge of the bed, uncertain at his place here. You look at him, pat what has become his side, and smile. He slides in next to you, wrapping an arm around Ven himself and ruffling the boy's hair. The three of you close your eyes, letting sleep overtake you. 

In the morning there's a black haired boy knocking on your window. 

Oh dear.


	3. Chapter 3

You let him in, because if nothing else Ven would want you to. He lands gracefully on your floor and immediately looks to the bed where Axel and Ven lay still sleeping. He turns to you, one thick eyebrow raised.

 

“You’re fucking the fire skank? Good job, didn’t think you had it in you.” he drawls like it’s nothing.

 

You, of course, stutter and stumble into the bed frame. Axel lifts the arm draped over Ven and rubs his face, Ven rolling onto his back and blinking his eyes open. He stares vacantly at you and the intruder for a moment before a sleepy smile spreads across his face.

 

“Hi Vani, what’re you doing here?” he mumbles.

 

Vanitas scowls, but this close you can see the red on his ears.

 

“Fuck off Ventus, you know why I’m here.” he hisses, and Ven nods a bit. He looks sad, but not nearly as bad as last night, so you let him be. Axel, now completely awake, is staring at you with a strange look in his eye.

 

“What is it?” you ask, perplexed. He looks into your eyes with a grin.

 

“Oh you know, just admirin’ the view.” he replies, and you blush before realizing what he means. You’d recently begun sleeping in your underwear again (after a night that would never be discussed in polite company), and last night was no different. Thus the only thing you were wearing was an old pair of boxer briefs. Axel of course had seen you naked, and you’d taken baths with Ven, but Vanitas? Vanitas was an outlier. And knowing him…

 

You’re torn between trying to cover yourself and putting your face in your hands. You decide on the latter and hear Axel chuckle at your misfortune. Vanitas just snorts.

 

“Relax Beara, I’m don’t even want _my_ vag, nonetheless yours.” he says, making you let out something between a groan and a sob.You send him what you hope is a withering look.

 

“Well as nice as it is to see ya, me and Terra had _plans_ ,” Axel purrs, and now you want to sit in a corner and die, “so you two should go. I’m sure you’ve got a lot a ‘catchin' up’ to do, no?”

 

Vanitas’ face scrunches into what you can only describe as extreme distaste, and Ven scrambles out of the bed like it’s on fire. They both get to the door in record time, say their (Ven’s) goodbyes, and leave you with Axel, who bursts into laughter as soon as the door closes. Thankfully neither boy can hear him, as the rooms here are soundproof. You’d… tested.

 

You may as well find a black hole to fling yourself into at this point, but peek through your fingers at him anyway. He’s looking at you again, but his eyes are soft.

 

“Ya gonna come back ta bed or do I have ta make ya?” Axel teases. You, still not over his little stunt, raise your head and give a grudgingly fond huff. His accent is always stronger in the morning and it’s completely endearing.

 

“I don’t know, could you even move me?” you reply, but move back to sit on the edge of the mattress. He stretches an arm out and you lay down, cuddling onto his shoulder. Axel traces some of the scars that criss cross your body like he’s mapping every one. You lean into his neck and inhale the burnt cinnamon that you’ve come to associate with him. He says, ‘I think we should sleep in today’ and you nod.

 

You stay like that long into the afternoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, nice to see more views than I was expecting. But while it's nice, this may be the last chapter I post. The more time passes, the more it seems like no one cares about reading this except my friend and boyfriend. Which is fine! But it makes posting this a bit futile. If I can get some feedback or even just a kudo or two I'd love to continue it, but as it is I'm pretty demoralized.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your support, you don't know how much it means. And to the commenter I got, I'm glad you're enjoying my silly AU, and I hope you like this chapter also.

 

Vanitas settles in well enough, (as in you find him and Ven making out in a conveniently placed closet once), and you find yourself beginning to fall into routine once again. Yet unlike the monotony of your previous days, the new presence of the others changes a few things. 

 

Get up and watch the sunrise:

You wake, not at the incessant buzzing of your gummiphone but the feeling of a warm hand sliding up and down your side. Axel pauses as you shift slightly. 

 

"G'mornin sleepy head." he says softly. You take his hand and lace his fingers with your own, opening your eyes.He’s looking at you, eyes fond in a way you don’t dare to name. It scares you, that look, so you pull him into a kiss instead.

 

“Did my alarm not go off?” you ask, brow furrowed slightly. He laughs a little and kisses the crease in your forehead until it softens.

 

“It did, but you didn’t wake up. Thought I’d let ya sleep in.” 

 

“But why were  _ you _ up?”

 

He looks away for a moment before giving you a soft smile. You know why. Another sleepless night, another sleep disturbed by the slightest sound. You know.

 

“Ah, you know your snorin’ could wake the dead babe.” he replies instead, and the mood lightens again. In lieu of replying you hit him with a pillow.

 

Eat breakfast:

By the time you get to the kitchen (alone, as Axel had declared breakfast the prize for your impromptu pillow fight), Aqua has made pancakes. Ven and Vanitas sit at the table, waiting for her to bring out the rest of the meal. Or more like Vanitas is stuffing a pancake in his mouth while Ven scolds him. 

 

You walk over and pick Vanitas up by the back of his recently acquired jacket, causing him to drop the pancake like a dog with a frisbee. It makes a gentle  _ thwap _ on the floor before Ven picks it up and shovels it into his own maw, saying something that sounds like ‘5 second rule!’ through the mass of food. You put Vanitas down and give Ven a Look that means you’ll be telling him off when Aqua isn’t within earshot. Vanitas’ wrath you can handle, but Aqua is a force to be reckoned with.

 

Aqua arrives with the rest of the food and a confused look as she surveys the scene. You and Ven smile innocently, Vanitas resting his head on the table in defeat. Soon enough everyone is digging into the meal. Axel arrives minutes later complaining that you ‘took too long, Terra, I’m gonna starve!’ and you feed him bits of pancake as he sulks on your shoulder.

  
  


Train with Riku:

Not long after Aqua and Ven’s arrival, Riku had taken off on a search mission again. The man, for despite his youth there was no bit of boy left in him, left often for days, weeks, months with only brief rests between. This time it had been over a month already, and he showed no signs of returning. 

 

Riku was both your greatest pride and deepest shame. When you had bequeathed him a keyblade it had been in a quiet moment of desperation, one last cry for the light to survive what was sure to come. Now, it simply felt like a mistake. You inadvertently saved the worlds, your friends, and so many others, true. But to give such a burden unto anyone, no less a  _ child _ , could be nothing but error. He’d told you, spliced through the months after that fateful battle, what had happened. His own fall into darkness, Ansem’s possession, the long, long year of Sora’s slumber. Even now you didn’t hold all the pieces. But perhaps it wasn’t yours to know. 

 

Maybe it never was.

 

Now, you stand on the sides as Aqua tries to teach Axel to ‘use  _ anything _ but fire magic for the Gods’ sake!’, along with a subdued Vanitas. Ven peers down from a nearby tree and shouts encouragement. Neither of you are paying attention really, eyes glazed over. Eventually Vanitas sighs and speaks in an undertone.

 

“How long has it been this time?”

 

You shake your head minutely.

 

“Month and 2 days now.”

 

His mouth thins.

 

“Idiot.”

 

Somehow, he and Riku had become close friends, a result that had most of you reeling. An unlikely pair to be sure, but you felt like you knew enough now to see how they got along so well. Even more unlikely it seemed was Vanitas warming up to you somewhat. It was a slow process to be sure, (and most likely started by Ven), but at this point you could have a serious conversation without him threatening to kick you in your non-existent balls.

 

You would’ve rather saved this one in particular.

 

“He’ll come back. He always does.” you murmur.

 

Vanitas snorts in derision.

 

“Such a fucking optimist.”

 

He sighs, world-weary.

 

“But, and you will not get me to repeat this, you’re right. Guy’s gotta lotta hope still, and a lotta time. And,” Vanitas thumps a fist to where his heart now beats, “I can still feel him somewhere. So whatever happened, the keyblade wielder’s out there. And if Riku doesn’t bring him back and stop moping, I’ll drag the squirt here myself.” he ends with a growl. 

 

You open your mouth to reply when there’s a sound of triumph from the training field. Aqua stands with the tip of her keyblade pressed to Axel’s throat. The redhead has a catlike grin on his face and a chakram clutched in each hand.    
  
“How’s about ya put that down before somebody gets hurt?” Axel purrs. Aqua rolls her eyes and gives a last poke to his Adam’s apple before lowering her weapon. You can almost catch the glint in his eye before Axel pulls an arm back to throw and-

 

Now he’s on the ground. Aqua’s blade is embedded just beyond his fiery locks as she walks off the field. Ven almost topples from his tree from a series of wild gesticulations accompanied by loud shouts. Vanitas is there to catch him before anything untoward can occur, Ven making an exaggerated swoon into his arms that makes Vanitas threaten to drop him.

 

You chuckle and stroll over to where your boyfriend is staring at Aqua’s keyblade until it dissolves into light once more. The hand you extend for him to take seems to get his attention well enough, but even standing now his eyes look a bit distant. 

 

It’s one of those times again.

 

Still, you help him inside, where he parts with a kiss to lock himself in his room once more.

 

He doesn’t come out when you call him for dinner.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for making it this far. I hope that you, at the very least, could tell some of the things I felt as it was written. As always any comments or kudos are welcome, even if it's just what happened to you the day before or a song you like. I'd really appreciate it.


End file.
